As I write it is a beautifully crisp day outside my window with birds chirping and blue sky as far as I can see - a memory I hope will come to mind on those rainy dreary days to come. These types of days remind me of growing up in Kelowna when the winters were soooo cold but so beautiful, when we could skate on the lakes and run & slide down the iced roads on our boots - when being outside when it snowed was just fun!
I've had a particulary difficult time this year being in the holiday spirit. Maybe lack of energy, maybe the excessives of the world during this time, maybe this, maybe that, I just haven't been 'feelin' it'. So quiet it was - family was the ticket. My favorite gift this year was a visit with my Chad - he drove us out to my sisters on Christmas Day for dinner and I had him all to myself for 2 hours - a luxury and a memory to cherish for the coming year. He's a busy lad so don't see him as much as I would like to! Fabulous family time over Christmas & Boxing days and then home to rest up and relax. An amazing New Year's Eve dinner cooked by my ever so wonderful friend Deb and home by 8:30 - perfect! Then yesterday we went to the Festival of Lights at Van Dusen Botanical Gardens - it was an amazing display of dancing lights, thru Candy Cane Lane, Gingerbread Wood and the Golden Chain Walk - a perfect albeit chilly evening to walk the grounds.
December in general wasn't my best month of 2010. I took a fall early in the month and hurt my leg pretty bad; that seemed to lead to some problems and I landed in emergency with what they thought might be a blood clot in my leg - thankfully it wasn't. Still don't know what it was so I'm classifying it as 'Just one of those things' for now. Then on December 23rd I had to put my little Annie down - everthing happened so fast with no warning - took her to the vet on the 21st where she was diagnosed with a very poor prognosis of kidney cancer - she hadn't displayed any real signs of being sick until Sunday when I found a lump on her left side but from then she went downhill very fast. My heart is broken and I miss her.
Healthwise things are as they are. Had a scan last Friday and see my oncolgist on Tuesday. Not sure what that visit will bring as my tumour markers are creeping up a bit but am hopeful that I will get a couple more months from the oral chemo. I'll be talking to him about some new aches and pains that have come up this last month or so as well - I like to think they are just delayed side effects but best to be sure.
Resolutions?? Not me - way too much pressure! Instead I have a 'Maybe List' and in no particular order here are some of the things I may do this year: maybe paint more, draw more, start a yoga class (again!), walk at least 2-3 times a week, maybe eat better, maybe spend more time with friends and stop being such a recluse, maybe go somewhere warm in Feb/Mar, blog on a more regular basis, and for those who really know my bad habits (and for those who don't!!) - maybe stop smoking Maybe do some volunteer work - maybe not. Maybe just spend the year being the best I can be - that seems not only the easiest but also the least stressful!!
To all my friends, supporters, readers, and to my family - I wish you everthing wonderful this year and always - you all mean so very much to me.
Rest easy Annie...
