She loved blue..

Christiane loved blue ... navy, sea-blue, turquoise, sapphire, teal and any other shade you can think of. She also loved green ....blue-green, jade, forest, sea-green, kelly and any other shade you can imagine. She loved scarves. She loved color as evidenced by her lovely cozy home. She loved Ellie. She loved hats. She loved her family and she loved her friends. She loved God. She loved to live. She was a great 'hugger'. Christiane - a soft-spoken, unpretentious woman with eyes that looked right to you and a smile worth a million dollars. Chris passed away on Wednesday morning at home enveloped by the love of her Ellie and her mom. I said my adieu to her on her 49th birthday celebration a couple of weeks ago, knowing that her time was very near. In our community we brace ourselves for these times, not knowing when and wishing never again. And my spirit snaps and the tears and anger come. Despite the heartache and sadness I could not be without my community, without the many hours of holding up, shoring up, comforting, laughing, eating, writing, meditating, appreciating what is and trying somehow to make sense of our worlds.. each so different but for the commonality that brought us together.



And so I have decided that in honor of Christiane I will take the brave leap and attend the Painting Workshop in Seattle Oct 8-10 and I will paint in blues and greens and yellows and oranges and every shade therein. For her .. and for me. I need some color in my world.. so thank you Chris for inspiring me one more time!

Rest easy Christiane

Some days are diamonds... some days are stone

Sweet September. My favorite time of year - like New Year's - only earlier! I do better in the cooler months for some reason, this year the heat was especially hard on me. But I love the cooler temperatures, I'm more inclined to be outdoors and life just seems more settled. Even though it has been centuries since I went to school, this feeling clearly goes back to the excitement of the unknown of the new school year. And just to make it all the more real, I bought myself a couple of new school outfits yesterday! And the best part of that is, because my body temp is generally in the upper end of the scale now, I get to buy summer clothes at ridiculously low sale prices and wear them all winter!

This last couple of weeks has been very hard on my heart with the passing of some people very dear to my heart. My dear friend Raymond passed gently into the early morning hours last Tuesday and while I mourn his loss, it cannot possibly parallel the loss to his partner Justin. Raymond was a delight in my life although we didn't know each other well or very long. But we had that Callanish connnection and with that we were able to absorb the deep, the light, the love and the laughter that is common within our community. Because of the situation most of us find ourselves in we tend to forego the time restraints of social niceties and just get down to heart of the matter -the friendship, the support, the real relationship part. Time is not something we take for granted in our community. Raymondo and I met at a Callanish Writes series last year which seemed to be a very liberating endeavor for him - he wrote some truly honest and heartfelt prose/poetry. And so to you Raymond there will be no more midnight cancer and for this I am grateful.

And dear sweet Grandma Mary - how you will be missed by your family. My sister-in-law's mum passed away quiety and softly on Friday morning - no matter the age it is difficult. I will so miss seeing Mary at all our family gatherings - you could always count on her to be there and hold court! I will miss reminding her that I'm Robert's sister and listening to her stories. I will miss seeing the love and pride in her eyes when she looked at her family - children, grandchildren and great-grandchildren and will miss the seeing the kids tend to you with such love and affection and the teasing banter between you and them - a condition inherent to the well-being of the Mills clan.!

Finished my chemo last Wednesday so on the upswing for a week or two - just wish my feet and hands were in better shape... oh yeh and my memory!! Next checkpoint - Sept 15th. Considering whether or not to attend The Painting Experience workshop ://http//www.processarts.com/ in Seattle in October. I registered for a class last year but couldn't make it so I do have a deposit with them - but am I brave enough - that's the question. And three days away from my sanctuary?? Step off the ledge Mar!! Callanish is offering Restorative Yoga classes starting next week - so looking forward to that. And then..... Callanish Writes V starts in October - I loooovvve those classes. So in general trying to decide what to keep myself busy with as the long sunny days turn to cooler autumn days and longer nights... which means I can go bed when it's dark rather than when it's light out!!

Today may well be the last of our sunny days for this week so I'll head to my deck which is sunny with a lovely breeze right now and get started on The Girl Who Played With Fire - 2nd book of this series by Stieg Larsson and I can't stop reading!!

Rest easy Raymondo
Rest easy Mary
Rest easy Dave