Checking In & Catching Up

Snow?? It should be spring here in BC but yesterday a dump of snow - well not really a 'dump' compared to most of our country but enough to make those little crocus and daffodil sprouts cover their heads. At least this means it will warm up now... and I'm ready for that.

Just getting over what is becoming a semi-annual event of cold/bronchitis. Have been feeling very crappy, cough-y and snotty along with a bit of a fever this last week but today feels like I'm on the mend thankfully. Being sick is boring - I've read, slept, watched TV, DVD's and eaten soup - I'm tired of soup now thank you very much. Except for last Tuesday - my 59th birthday - another year under my belt I'm grateful to say. Another thing I'm grateful for is that my pal Deb loves to cook and so a lovely dinner was prepared in my honor and that along with a bouquet of yellow roses (the color of friendship) made me a very happy girl. I love getting flowers - Irene sent me a gorgeous bouquet of spring flowers with pink/white lilies, carnations, gerberas etc and between flowers and birthday wishes, phone calls, cards and love sent my way I know how fortunate I am to have so many wondering caring people in my life.

Last Sunday was Kirsten's Celebration of Life. It was a beautiful albeit sad day and yet I found it oddly comforting to be with her family and friends to say my good-bye. It's hard for me to process that I won't talk or laugh with her again except for in the place she holds in my heart. The forecast for Sunday was cloudy and rainy - it was a cold, beautiful, bule-sky morning that arrived. Poems were read and Kirsten stories shared by people who loved her very much. There were lots of dogs, children and birds flying overhead. Kirsten had asked that we put a flower in the water in memory of someone we loved and so we all headed to the shoreline and sent the flowers out - anyone walking that beach Sunday would have surely felt the love. Take care of your hearts Ian & Susan.

What else? Well - I'm starting to think about getting another cat. Annie's been gone two months now and coming home to an empty house isn't the same as coming home to a cat who ignores you!! She really didn't all the time - the minute I sat down she was on my lap and for the most part had to be able to see me from where she was. I've had a lot of trepidation about this right up until this morning when I read a blogger friends post about his dog. And realized how much I miss the company and comfort of a pet. Someone to just hang out with and talk to (yes!!!). So my mission this next couple of weeks will be to find an adoptable cat from the SPCA or VOKRA to come and share the ups and downs of life with me. I have criteria tho that I have to keep reminding myself of - NO MORE long-hair cats. Webbie & Annie were both Persians and would only go to the vet to get their hair done - no brushing allowed. They both had to be put under in order to get groomed and their do's cost 3x as much as mine - not that I minded the financial cost but the physical cost to them of being put under all the time worried me. So with that in mind I will being my search.... more to come on that.

Healthwise things are fairly status quo. I've been on Capecitabine (Xeloda/oral chemo) for a year now and while my tumour markers are are slowly on the rise but not out of control I'm optimistic that I'll get a few more months from this treatment. The fatigue unfortunately isn't getting any better and my hands/feet aren't either but a small price to pay. Kidneys are still an issue and I have another scan at the end of March that will tell us if it's time for the stent or not.

Stay well my friends.

My Friend

My sweet sister-friend Kirsten passed gently into the night early Monday morning with her Ian and her mom beside her. And I'm sure her dog Finnegan somewhere very close. I am a better person having known Kirsten and her spirit will always be alive in my heart.

Rest easy my friend - I miss you already

A Candle For Kirsten

Kirsten has said that it would give her great comfort if her family and friends would light a candle for her. She is not doing well and my heart is heavy.

Kirsten was unable to attend the Callanish Creative Arts Retreat last week and she was so missed by all - but her pictures were there and her spirit floated all about us. She was so in my heart that I had to express it in words and so I dedicate this piece to my friend:

FRIDAY NIGHT THOUGHTS OF KIRSTEN - JANUARY 28.11

Tonight I write

For you

My friend

My sister friend

My forever friend

You have graced my life with your friendship

My home with your presence

My heart with your kindness

My eyes with your smile

And my soul with your words

You've taught me the art of letting words simply appear

without having to hunt then down

You introduced me to Prudence and let me know

just what kind of a friend she can be

Wiser in your years and gentler in your spirit

You've given me insight into how

the wrong words can be made right

All the while embodying wisdom, spirit and fun

I feel your presence deep in my heart & deep in my soul

For I have learned so much sitting with you these past years

And want to be just like you when I grow up

You've been enveloped in every part of my being these past few months

Now you know I'm not a praying kinda gal

But I wonder, does screaming at the universe to look after you

count in some way

And so tonight I hold you tightly

and want more of you

I won't say good-bye - ever

Not tonight - not ever

Due Tramonti (Two Seasons) by Ludovico Einaudi is a favored Callanish piece introduced to our community and so often played for us by Maryliz - it feels like the right piece to play.