The Good, The Bad & The Ugly

The Bad:
Well I'm not making it thru this 4th course of the oral chemo - more hands/feet burning so I'm off it again after 10 days. I called the clinic on day 7 and they said to go off it right away but decided to be a martyr for a few more days.... Anyway it's done for this round and we'll see what my oncologist has to say next week at my appt. Dr. Mills (that would be me!) thinks that because my tumour markers have dropped I may be able to go back on a hormone treatment for awhile however Dr. Kennecke (the real doctor) may not agree. Back in January I recall him saying that if I couldn't tolerate this drug, IV chemo may be warranted. I so don't want to do that but will adjust to whatever is next as always. I've said before how difficult it is to stay in the 'now' of my life and not worry about the next test or appt or what next month or next year will be like - this is one of those times. The fatigue is catching up with me as well - another side effect I tend to ignore. And of course fatigue = cranky!!

The Good:
So to combat this fatigue & crankiness, tomorrow I'm heading off to spend some me time with Mother Nature in Tofino (Long Beach) for a few days with my pal Deb. Pacific Sands Resort - right on the beach - perhaps some storm watching, some sun, some walks, the sound of surf and birds. I've packed more books than I can possibly read, my drawing stuff, my Ipod and some nice warm blankets so we can sit out on the patio and watch the waves. Haven't been to Long Beach since I was in my 20's. On the way we'll stop over in Port Alberni for one night to visit with Deb's brother and my very best forever friends - Cass & Gord. Good friends, good laughs, good food and without a doubt some good wine!

The Ugly:
I'm sending my hopes, my prayers and my angels to watch over my dear friend Jill who has has just been diagnosed. Cancer is shit - will it ever end? I'm convinced that it could end - if politics and money wasn't involved - if cancer wasn't such big business there would be a cure. I'm convinced that there are dedicated researchers out there who want to share their massive amounts of information with each other and that everyone has a piece of the puzzle. I believe that sharing the knowledge and facts that each of these scientists possess the world would see a cure for this devastating and often fatal disease. And then they can move on .... to so many other diseases that need attention as well.

I feel better now - thanks for reading!!